It was about 18 months after the death of my husband, Ron, when I realized I felt ready to consider having another loving relationship.
After Ron had started to clear the way for me emotionally … through the powerful message he had transmitted via the pendulum six months earlier … life had opened up for me.
Here’s what happened next … one version of it anyway!
The story … as told by my “pre-enlightened” self
Before I started down this journey of spiritual exploration … one that instilled a whole new awareness in me as to how life actually works … here’s how I would have told the story of meeting the next man I was about to marry …
In early spring 2009, I was invited to a neighbourhood party and ran into a local resident, Greg. He’d recently left a long-term relationship which a friend of mine had told me about, so I was cautious as we interacted. I thought he was nice, but I didn’t want to give him “the wrong message.”
He called me a few weeks later to invite me to a golf tournament. It sounded harmless and could be fun, so I accepted. We ended up developing a friendship and gathered a small group of singles in our “couples-dominated” community to hang around with.
It was definitely just a friendship … until a few months later, when our relationship changed. He surprised me by announcing he wanted to marry me, but shortly thereafter, I agreed.
I wrestled with feelings of guilt about remarrying, since Ron’s death still felt somewhat fresh, but I worked through them. Greg and I were married about a year later.
So, there you have it … a true recounting of the story. And when I told this version, people would say, “Wow, isn’t it wonderful you found someone. And in that small community … what a coincidence! I mean, there were only about 800 people living there, right? Gosh, what are the chances … ?”
HAH! Now, let me tell you …
What REALLY happened …
With the deeper and broader understanding of the Big Picture that I’ve gained through my spiritual exploration, and as long as I’m paying attention, life has become much more interesting and illuminating!
So, through that lens, here’s what really happened … how the Universe orchestrated our first meeting … messages from Spirit to nudge me forward … signs to reassure me this was the right decision … and very importantly … signs from Ron that he was on board.
It’s a much longer story.
Intuition plays a part
As I mentioned in a previous Life with Spirit post, after Ron died, I had unshakable faith I would marry again. In fact, I recall sitting in my sister’s dining room, on a visit home just months after his death, sharing this thought with her. “I don’t know why, but I just know it,” I remember telling her.
I also told her I felt I’d likely be married again before I turned 50. Not sure where that came from, but it felt right. I was 47 at the time.
I was also certain I was living in the right place for whatever was to come next in my life. Even then, I was super aware of the machinations the Universe had concocted, not just to get me to the west coast or to Vancouver Island, but to this particular, small community of Fairwinds (as told in My Back Story Part 3).
As a result, I knew there was an important reason I was here. I didn’t know what it was, but I was prepared to stay here and let it unfold.
So, “here” is where I was … now 48. No hint of a potential serious relationship anywhere to be seen, and I realized the time had come for me to lay the groundwork.
Calling on Law of Attraction!
If you’ve happened to read my My Back Story, you may recall that it was learning about the Law of Attraction that started me down this path of spiritual exploration.
I had successfully put it into action in the past, and it occurred to me this was an opportunity to do so again. I had begun to realize how much easier life is once I embraced the idea that it doesn’t all have to be up to me … there actually is an invisible world waiting to help. Truly.
To successfully use Law of Attraction, I first had to get clear in my own mind what it was I was looking for in a life partner. And I had to write it down … this is what really forces clarity.
So, I set about to figure this out. What was it that would be important to me in this new phase of life? I mean, other than age … Ron had been almost 20 years older than I and I had come to realize how that had actually aged me. This time, I told myself, stick to someone of your own vintage!
With that one thought in mind, I started to compile the rest of my list. I quickly realized there were actually a number of things important to me. In fact, by the time I was finished, I ended up with a list of 46 items!
Now, you might ask (as countless others have!) how could there possibly be so many things a person would be looking for?? Ahh, in a recent post, did I, or did I not, mention that I’m somewhat of a perfectionist … ?
So, I got clear in my own mind what I was looking for, wrote it down and filed it away … leaving the rest up to the Universe as I continued on with my life.
That was March 2009.
A psychic medium weighs in …
Right around that same time, I had a reading with a psychic medium, Deborah. The topic of a long-term relationship came up.
She told me that I would be in another “lovely relationship” again. She saw a white picket fence … her symbol from Spirit signifying a loving, protected relationship.
She also told me that Ron wanted this … “He has no ego about this.”
This was comforting to hear, especially in light of my struggle six months earlier with the worry that entering into another relationship would be an act of betrayal. Although I’d felt better after understanding Ron’s message that came via the pendulum, truth be told, it still weighed on me.
Deborah went on to say that I would figure out quickly whether or not this new relationship was a match … in fact, “both of you will know quickly.”
She told me she felt everything would come together “within 3 years … could be 3 years from now or from when Ron passed away.”
She seemed more inclined to think it would be 3 years from when Ron died … which would be September 2010. But she was cautious about giving too strong a timetable. She didn’t want me to make hasty decisions just to meet it … a sign of a good medium.
But one way or another, the number “3” was very clear.
An invitation flies in … from left field
It was about a month or so later that something completely unexpected … and perplexing … hit my Inbox.
When I opened my email one evening, I found an invitation to a birthday party … for a man I’d never met.
Sent by … someone I’d never heard of.
Normally, I’d simply delete anything like this, but it looked like it had been specifically addressed to me, as opposed to general spam, so I read on, and learned …
The birthday boy was the husband of a woman who was in my bridge club. So, not a party for my fellow bridge player … no, for her husband.
And this was a club that met just twice a month. I mean I knew her, but for the most part only to discuss bidding conventions. And now I’m being invited to her husband’s birthday party? At their house and by someone I’ve never heard of?
It was thoughtful … I guess … but as a single woman, socializing in unknown situations was a bit intimidating and frankly took a lot of energy, so … my hand reached out to hit the “Regrets” button.
However … I paused.
By then, I had learned enough about the “magic” of the Universe to realize that when something comes out of the blue and makes me whip my head around and say, “Huh??”, it’s usually something I should pay attention to.
I just knew there was a reason I was supposed to be there … whatever it was … so, I hit “Accept” instead.
I was pleased to learn that my close friends, Joan and Doug, would also be attending, and we went together. Joan was a fellow Law of Attraction afficionado, so I shared with her that I was only going because it seemed like there was a reason I was supposed to.
We walked into a roomful of people, most of whom I didn’t know, but a few I did. I learned that the email invitation had come from one of the adult children who was organizing this party for her father … one mystery solved.
Not long after arriving, I noticed a man I had briefly met at a community meeting a while back. His name was Greg, I recalled. I only paid attention because a friend had just given me a heads-up about him ….
Apparently, Greg had recently left a committed relationship, and my friend thought he might be looking for a distraction (words like “on the prowl” may have been used), so she wanted me to be on my guard.
I’m not exactly sure why she felt the need to “warn” me, but for some reason I guess she felt I’d be vulnerable. Perhaps because I was a 48-year-old single woman in a community of couples where the average age was closer to 65 or 70.
Anyway, this man was far older than I, so I’d laughed it off, assuring her I hadn’t the slightest bit of interest.
Who’s up for a house tour … Karen?
During the evening, Greg did wander over to introduce himself. He was a nice guy, so I was quite happy to talk with him, as I was with anyone else in the room.
Trying to make conversation, I admired the unusual, beautiful large house we were in. At this point, he disclosed he was a friend of the birthday boy and also lived in Fairwinds, just down the street. In fact, he was quite familiar with the house. Did I want a tour … ?
Red flags immediately started to pop up, as my friend’s words echoed in my mind. I actually was interested in seeing the house but … with him? Alone? Hmm, don’t think so!
However, my curiosity got the best of me, so I said, “Sure” … and promptly rounded up five or six other interested guests to join us.
The rest of the evening was uneventful. When I made my exit, I remember saying to Joan, “If there was a ‘reason’ I was supposed to attend that party, it sure wasn’t obvious …. “
Well, guess what, Karen … the Universe doesn’t usually provide a playbook for what it has underway!
More to come in Part 2!