The Conclusion

In Part 1, we explored the use of the pendulum as a tool to communicate with the Other Side.

In Part 2, I shared what turned out to be a profound message that my deceased husband, Ron, conveyed through the pendulum …


He was leaving … again.  I was devastated.

With my friend Monica, we struggled to understand why.  Then, as our discussion continued, it hit me ….

Would I … could I … ever move forward?

Recently, I had been starting to muse about my future.  You see, I had “known” from the outset of Ron’s death that I would marry again.  I didn’t know who or when or anything like that, but I just had a deep inner knowing that I would.

But that idea posed a conflict … would I be able to move on while I truly believed Ron, the love of my life, was still with me?

Hmm ….

I had realized that my acceptance of the ongoing nature of consciousness was actually a double-edged sword. 

On the one hand, I took great comfort in knowing that Ron continued on and was with me whenever I wanted (which was, you know, pretty much all the time). 

But, on the other hand, I was conflicted about the idea of ever starting a new relationship.  I mean, if Ron still exists … which he does … wouldn’t that be … well, betrayal?

Don’t get me wrong, I still felt a long way from being ready to think about another partner in my life, but I knew it would be coming … sometime. 

So, I’d asked myself the unthinkable … would I have to actually let Ron go in order to fully experience this next phase of life? 

And concluded … Hah!  That wasn’t going to happen!  I couldn’t just “let him go.”  Seriously??  But, if not … then, how … ?  Sigh.  I didn’t know how to reconcile this. 

So, I had talked with Ron about it … just that week.

Ron offers a solution … ?

As Monica and I explored this, we realized a possibility … could this message be his way of helping me to resolve this conundrum? 

Maybe Ron’s “going away for now” meant he was giving me space … an opportunity to begin to … well … lessen my emotional connection to him.

As my guide, Michael, had said when we’d turned for help in understanding what had just happened, “Trust in your love.”

I felt completely upended by all that had happened and went home to let it sink in.

Letting go …

The next morning, I awoke with a realization … the time had come to scatter his ashes.  A step I’d known I’d have to take to release him, but one I hadn’t wanted to face.

I had been delaying, telling myself that it needed to be done “just right” (me having struggled with perfectionist tendencies all my life.)  But what did that mean … when? where? how? who?  I’d had no idea, so I’d just left the ashes on the shelf.

But, with the swing of a pendulum, everything changed.  Ron’s message was clear … a jolt … but one I needed.  It was time to start letting go, and this was an important step to take.  And I realized I was ready.

The details came together quickly, including who I wanted to be part of this … besides Monica, I needed Joan and Doug to participate … the very special friends of Ron’s and mine who had been there through thick and thin.

One problem … Joan and Doug were about to leave the country for several weeks … in two days!  Yikes!  Having made the decision, I knew I couldn’t delay until their return.

I had a very narrow window to pull this together, but everyone cooperated to make it happen … we’d gather the very next morning. 

(As I write this now, a realization just hit me … I suspect Ron timed the delivery of his message to force me into action … not giving me time to succumb to my perfectionist tendencies and agonize over the details, second-guessing my decisions.  Hah!  Smart move!)

Confirmation from Spirit

Later that evening, I was anticipating the events of the next morning as I watched TV.  An episode of the show “Paranormal State” came on, about a couple who had died, Ron and Connie. 

One of the last lines of the show that I heard was, “… and let Ron now rest in peace.”  

It felt very significant. 

Releasing Ron …

The next day, we scattered Ron’s ashes in an informal, heartfelt ceremony.  When it was finished, I noticed myself feeling much lighter.  Yes, it was definitely the right thing to do.

Later in the day, I also realized it was time to release a collection of momentos I’d been holding onto for years … rocks, driftwood and such, from the property where we were to have built our dream home.  Symbols of our anticipated future together here on Vancouver Island. 

A future that did not materialize. 

A future I had begun to realize was never meant to materialize.

But it wasn’t yet enough

In the days to follow, I felt better having taken the steps I had.  But something still didn’t feel quite right ….

A few days later, I had a session with a BodyTalk energy healing practitioner.  She used her strong intuition to tune into my energy and visualize me in her mind’s eye. 

She gave me the missing piece of the puzzle ….

The missing piece

The practitioner used a technique common in this field.  Using her imagination, she’d constructed a healing place in her mind’s eye where she would visualize working with her client … a technique designed to support tapping into and using deep intuition in healing work.

When she perceived me (in her mind’s eye) entering this healing place, she saw me dressed like a clown … clown hair, face makeup with big sad eyes drawn on my face, and very large shoes I was having trouble walking in. 

That was a peculiar image indeed.

After our healing session finished, she then mentally visualized me leaving the healing place. 

She noted that I still had the fake hair and face makeup with sad eyes, but she saw me kick off the shoes and say, “At least I won’t need these anymore.”

Unpacking the symbolism

I knew intuitive images like this held important meaning … and this one was no different.

Kicking off the very large shoes seemed obvious to me … it was about releasing whatever it was that had been making movement difficult for me. Something inside me had shifted … with Ron’s message and the scattering of his ashes, I had cleared the way to move forward.

That made sense and it was a big step … so to speak.  But the fake appearance … sad eyes, makeup, hair … what was that all about? 

Ahh, you see, that went to the heart of the issue. 

An issue I expect others who have lost a loved one have wrestled with ….

Is it too soon … ?

It had been just over a year since Ron died.  I was facing a fresh start in a new life that … when I was honest with myself … I had to admit was kind of exciting. 

Of course, I missed Ron terribly, but I was looking forward to what lay ahead … this path of spiritual discovery, my budding energy healing practice, the new and interesting adventures I’d encounter in my new home on this beautiful island in the Pacific.

But was it too soon?  How could I be happy and excited without Ron being with me?  Was that dishonouring his memory?  What would others think?  I did want to move on, but inside, I was churning with feelings of guilt ….

The symbolism of the image brought this issue to the forefront … was I truly sad or was I pretending?  Putting on a sad face … not only for those around me, but more importantly, for myself?  Because I thought it was too soon and I should be sad?

As I reflected on this, I finally understood what Ron had been trying to tell me at Monica’s. 

My being happy would not in any way reflect negatively on the depth or nature of my love for him.  That was unshakeable.  Rather, when he said, “Let me be at peace,” what he really meant was …

“It’s time to move on and let yourself be at peace.”


Two months later, a new message came through from Spirit:


Life had been full of responsibility for … well … years.  A month later, Monica and I set off for a vacation in Cuba, and I let loose with a vengeance! 

And, no, that’s NOT a story that will make it to this blog ….  LOL


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