In several recent posts, we’ve discussed options for how to reach out to communicate with our loved ones after they die (or, rather, after their body dies). And we discovered there are many … some that require the involvement of other people, and some we can do ourselves.
But throughout our discussions, there’s been one particular communication option that has popped up repeatedly, and that’s mediumship.
Another Look At Mediumship
Hey, there, it’s me … I’m back. And, duh, the reason it ‘pops up repeatedly’ is cuz you’re the one keeps bringin’ it up, right?
Oh, you again … didn’t know you were still tuned in. Well, yes, of course I’m the one bringing it up because, you know, this is my blog.
Hah, got ya!
Uh huh, sure. But there’s an important reason I do. Remember when we delved into the purpose of mediumship, awhile back?
Um, sorta.
Well, check it out … Mediumship? What’s the point? It explains the significant benefits a mediumship reading may provide, not least of which is its potential to bring about profound healing.
So, that in itself makes it an option worth emphasizing when we’re exploring how to connect with departed loved ones. But there’s more …
Unlike some of the other communication options we looked at, it’s also fairly easy to arrange. Today, mediumship is a rapidly expanding field with more and more professionally trained mediums coming online all the time.
Should my friend see a medium?
Well, I guess that’s good, cuz my friend just lost his mom and he’s really strugglin’. Maybe he should see one of them mediums … ?
Gosh, I’m sorry to hear your friend’s having such a difficult time. Certainly, if he’s interested, seeing a medium might be a helpful option. When did his mom pass?
Couple weeks ago ….
Ooh, that’s very recent. In this case, timing for contacting a medium becomes a consideration.
Whaddya mean?
Well, there are different reasons for wanting to visit a medium and have a reading. Some people do so just out of curiosity. You know, see what it’s all about, perhaps connect with Aunt Betty or a childhood friend while they’re there.
That’s totally cool, and in those cases, timing’s not a concern … go whenever. But if we’re using the services of a medium in order to help us through grief, timing is key.
I’m grieving … when should I see a medium?
A question often asked is how long I should wait after my loved one passes before having a mediumship reading.
Why, what’s it matter?
Timing’s a factor because the state of mind of the sitter is key.
Wait, whaddya mean “sitter”?
The “sitter” in a mediumship reading is us, the one wanting to hear from a deceased loved one. Our loved one is called a “spirit communicator.”
Oh, okay. So, what’s with this ‘state of mind’ … why’s it important?
Experience seems to show that if we’re too emotional, too depressed, or too desperate for contact, then it’s much tougher to establish a connection between “here” and “there.”
Huh?
Well, you see, spirit energies reside on a higher frequency than we do when we’re in these physical bodies. (For an explanation, see the section “Mind over matter” in Mediumship – For the Left-Brained.)
Think of it like they have to “reach down” while we “reach up,” in order to find common ground for a connection.
But to successfully “reach up,” we need to raise our vibration … which means, fill ourselves with positive, uplifting emotion. And this can be tough to do if the grief is too strong, right?
Oh, yeah. I get that.
“Grief Brain”
And then there’s “grief brain” ….
Um, say what now … ??
I know, strange term. But ‘grief brain’ is a real thing.
When we’re too deep in a state of grief, our brain doesn’t work well. It’s just like when we’re under any kind of heavy stress … it’s hard to take in new information and process it like we normally would.
(For a fuller explanation, check out this video Understanding Grief: Brain Changes and Continuing Bonds by You, Me and Spirit with Marie Hess).
However, if we’re going to have a reading, we want to be able to get the most out of it … have it be as effective and healing as possible. But this requires being able to absorb and process what comes up during it.
I guess.
Oh, absolutely.
The Sitter’s Role
As sitters, we play a key role in validating the information brought through by the medium from our loved one.
Some of the information will be straightforward and easy to confirm, like “Your mom’s showing me she was a teacher.” But some of it won’t be.
No?
No, it all depends on what the spirit communicator chooses to bring through. On top of which, the medium won’t be able to make sense of many things they perceive from our loved one because, you know, it wasn’t their life.
So, we need our wits about us to be able to connect the dots for ourselves.
Whaddya mean … ‘connect the dots’?
Well, maybe the medium will say something like,“She’s showing me a white rabbit … it doesn’t feel like a pet, or even a real animal. Hmm, not sure what this means, but she’s definitely showing me a white rabbit.”
So, while the medium is confused, we might know this was part of a family joke we had shared years ago, something that might be a super meaningful memory. But our brain has to be functioning well enough to remember it.
Ah, I see.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s totally natural if, as a sitter, we can’t put it ALL together in the moment, even at the best of times. Happens a lot. In fact, there’s a name for it … “sitter’s amnesia.”
In those situations, the points we didn’t understand during the reading often make sense when we think about them later. However, if we’re deeply grieving, our mind struggles to process it afterward, much less in the moment.
So, the clearer our minds, the easier it is to make sense of it all. And that increases the chances of having an effective and healing interaction, which in this context, is the whole point.
Hmm, makes sense. So then, what’s the answer? When’d be a good time for my buddy to see one of them mediums?
So, what’s the answer to best timing?
I’ve come across varying views from mediums as to what they recommend for timing. The only consistent answer I’ve come across is … NOT right away. Mediums generally recommend waiting a while to give emotions a chance to settle.
Some suggest waiting at least three months, and others say six months. In fact, remember the Windbridge Research Center I’ve often quoted for their rigorous mediumship research?
Yeah …
Well, according to WRC Research Director Dr. Julie Beischel, in their studies they require the death to have occurred at least one year earlier before a sitter is allowed to participate (described in her book, “Love and the Afterlife,” pg. 271).
Wow, a whole year …
That’s the longest recommended wait time I’ve come across, but their reasoning was kind of intriguing …
As Beischel explains in her book, they recommend this delay not only for the sitter to process their own grief but also … get this … to allow the departed loved one time to adjust on the Other Side. Including, perhaps, learning how to communicate with us!
Really??
I know, right? Who knew? But it makes sense, I guess. I mean, I certainly have no idea what they need to go through at their end … er, so to speak.
But is there a time limit?
Yeah, but … what if ya wait too long and, ya know, they’re not ‘there’ anymore? I mean you say dead people can come back after a while and live all over again. You call it carnating, or somethin’ like that.
You mean reincarnation. Yes, a fascinating idea (and one that is supported by many different sources, including rigorous scientific research into past lives told by children. See the two-book volume, “Before: Children’s Memories of Previous Lives” by Jim Tucker, MD.) But that’s a whole different topic.
However, I’m glad you asked the question because it too is a common one. And fortunately, it happens to be one I have found consistent answers to, across all sources I’ve come across.
Experts weigh in …
In fact, just before you showed up, I finished watching an interview with well-known spiritual author and speaker Neale Donald Walsch. He was on a podcast and was asked this exact question.
Walsch claims to have spent years “talking with Spirit,” and getting answers about how life really works. Over the past 30 years, he’s published a series of books to document it all … the well-known “Conversations with God” series.
Never heard of it …
Oh, right. Well, it’s well-known among many in my world.
Anyway, in these conversations, Walsch asked Spirit about this question … you know, whether we could still communicate with a departed loved one after they’d chosen to come back again into another lifetime.
In the podcast I just watched, he shared the answer he was given …
“The soul is magnificent, more magnificent than you could ever imagine, and the soul is capable of embracing an endless number of individual what you would call personalities, or individual expressions, at the same time.” (Neale Donald Walsch, podcast from Life With Ghosts)
In other words, our departed loved one can be here, there, and anywhere, all at the same time. We don’t have to catch them before they “go around again,” so to speak. Which means, there is NO time limit on communicating with them.
He’s not the only one who says this, of course. I’ve come across this same observation from several mediums, and also from Dr. Beischel. She confirms from her research, “ … sitters have had successful mediumship readings even decades after the passing of the [departed loved one].” (“Love and the Afterlife,” pg. 270)
So, there is no rush, and in fact it’s best NOT to rush.
Bottom line …
The bottom line is this … timing’s a judgment call. Share this information with your friend, and then he’ll need to gauge his own readiness and state of mind about if and when to pursue a mediumship reading.
Just let him know that if he does go ahead and it turns out to be too soon, the medium may call off the reading and defer to a later time. And that’s okay. Better to wait a while longer and improve the odds of having an impactful, healing experience.
Hmm, good to know.
An option in the meantime …
But, you know, in the meantime, if he’d like to try to sense a connection with his mom on his own, there’s a simple practice he could consider. It’s a technique from psychic medium Suzanne Giesemann that I shared recently, and have now posted under At A Glance … Listening Practice. He can check it out there.
Okay, cool, I’ll tell him. And if he decides he’s ready for this other stuff, uh, how does he go ‘bout finding one of them mediums? You know, one that’s legit.
Another great question … and one we’ll look at in the near future, so stay tuned.
Let’s Share
What are your thoughts about the best time to see a medium? Please share in the Comments below what worked (or didn’t) for you.
To sign up for notifications of future posts, click here.
0 Comments