You recall that last time we started to explore what a mediumship reading to connect with a departed loved one would be like?
Yeah, my friend was wonderin’, cuz he lost his mom ‘n all …
Right. So, I explained that the type of mediumship reading he would want to look for is evidential mediumship …
Yeah, yeah, evidence showin’ dead people are still here, and, like, which one of ‘em shows up at a reading.
Precisely. We also reviewed generally what types of evidence a spirit communicator may share to identify themselves, and also the kinds of messages they may want to communicate.
Then, as we were wrapping up, you asked an important question … what’s the role of the sitter during a reading?
Role of the sitter
Right, if I’m gettin’ a reading, what should I be doin’?
I’m glad you asked because it’s easy to forget there are actually three people in a mediumship reading … the medium, the spirit communicator, and the sitter. Sometimes we lose sight of the importance of the sitter, so let’s touch on this.
The sitter’s energy is important
In the past, we’ve talked about how it can be challenging to connect with our spirit people because in their spirit bodies, they vibrate at a higher frequency than we do. Sort of like they hang out at a different station on the radio dial.
Yeah, I kinda ‘member that …
Well, for a connection to come through strongly, they need to lower their frequency, and we need to elevate ours, so we can “meet in the middle.” As a sitter, we’re part of that equation, which means to increase our chances of connecting with a departed loved one, we want to help raise the energy.
Okay, so how’d I do that … ?
It’s simple … bring love and openness into the room with you. Focus on the love you have for the person you want to connect with, and be open and optimistic about what you’re going to experience.
You know, sometimes people arrive cynical and suspicious, wanting to “test” the medium, or even trip them up. I don’t get it … this defeats the whole purpose of the reading. If you really want to connect with a loved one, then place your focus there.
Hmm, makes sense.
Limit talking during reading
Also, for many mediums, you’ll find they prefer we don’t talk much once they begin. You see, they need to maintain their awareness on our loved one and what they’re communicating, which is easier to do without too many distractions.
But there’s another important reason … they don’t want us providing information the spirit person may be wanting to communicate.
For example, if the medium says something like, “Your dad’s showing me he was good at carpentry …. “ And then you jump in and say, “Boy, was he ever! And he built me the coolest car-shaped bed when I was a kid!”
Well, you see, it could be that your dad was just about to convey this beautiful piece of evidence through the medium. But now if he does, she can’t share it because it will come across as her just repeating what you already told her.
So, the saying is … “Don’t feed the medium.” They want to be the one telling us, so there’s no question as to where the information is coming from.
Got it.
But do interact as requested
That said, they will usually ask us to give limited feedback as they go, typically answers like … yes, no, I don’t know.
Answers? You mean, they ask questions and want ME to answer? Wait a minute ….
I don’t mean the medium will ask you questions just out of the blue, like for example, has your mother passed or was she a doctor. NO credible medium should be digging for information like that without first having sensed it for themselves.
But, once they have sensed it, let’s say, becoming aware of a presence they feel is your mom, they may say something like, “Would you understand that your mother is in Spirit?”
Now, if mom’s not dead, then you need to say so, because it could be that what the medium is sensing is perhaps your mother-in-law, but she felt like your mom.
Hmm, I get that could be easy to mix up, but still, ain’t it cheatin’ if I give answers?
Not at all and let me explain why.
How spirit communication comes through
Real mediumship readings are not like what we see on TV, where the show’s been highly edited for timing and dramatic effect. You know, everything comes easily, is crystal clear, and spot on. Makes for good TV, but it’s not realistic.
Here’s what really happens …
As the medium communicates with our loved one, they receive impressions, which can come in a variety of ways … images, sounds, feelings, aromas, tastes, or just a knowing.
The different ways these impressions come through depends on the medium, and perhaps on the spirit person too, I’m not sure. Some mediums work more with images, others with feelings, and so forth, but they all tend to use a combination of ways.
However, regardless of how an impression comes through from the communicator, it is almost always fleeting. Seriously, often just a momentary flash of less than a second, and the medium has to be aware enough to catch it.
And then, once they do, they have to put it into words so we can understand it … before the next impression arrives. Not easy, this.
I guess!
So, during the reading, there may be statements from the medium that don’t make sense to us, or even that we know are wrong. But as long as it’s an experienced medium, it’s not that they aren’t connecting with our loved one, it’s that they’ve misunderstood the momentary flash or haven’t described it properly.
Which is where we come in …
Our feedback of yes, no, I don’t know, helps the medium to know they’re on track, that they’ve correctly understood. And if they haven’t, it gives them the opportunity to work with the spirit communicator to try again.
Oh, okay, think I understand.
Great. Then let’s pull all this together into an actual example to help illustrate what we’ve been discussing.
Example … an early reading from my late husband
This was an unexpected, impromptu reading I had some months after my husband Ron died. It wasn’t a full reading, but it was impactful for me, and it shows the kind of information that can come through.
If you’ve read My Back Story, you may have noticed that my interest in the non-physical world started a few years before Ron died. I had begun reading and exploring all manner of related topics.
I recall about 18 months after he passed, I signed up for a “Psychic and Mediumship Development” drop-in class. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, but I was game to try.
In class, we students attempted to connect with our practice partner’s deceased loved ones, and lo and behold, Ron showed up! I was thrilled. However, my partner quickly got stuck trying to catch the fleeting impressions he was getting, and the instructor took over.
In hindsight, I have no doubt this was orchestrated by Ron because, unlike the student, the instructor was experienced enough to sense very specific evidence that made this super meaningful for me.
The Evidence
Here’s what the instructor shared …
- He described Ron showing him a piece of lapis (a bluish precious stone). Lapis was a favourite of Ron’s, and I was with him when he hand-selected a piece to have built into a special custom-made money clip he always carried.
- He sensed Ron referring to London and joking we spent more time in our hotel room than seeing the city! Yeah, uh, … I admitted with a rising blush that this is where we went on our honeymoon … lol.
- He felt Ron showing him a tea kettle. I realized this was Ron’s way of telling me he was still with me, as I was a definite NON-tea drinker until shortly after he passed.
- He then sensed Ron telling him about two kids … a boy and a girl, about 5-6 years old. I knew Ron was referring to our fur-kids … a boy and a girl. (We had no children but were madly in love with these two.) They’d turned 7 just before Ron passed.
- Finally, he was shown that I’d recently put away a ring in a drawer. Again, he was right … this was my wedding ring. I’d taken it off for safekeeping before going travelling a few months earlier. When I’d come home, it didn’t feel quite right to put it back on again.
These would seem like random pieces of information to anyone else, but to me, they made perfect sense. I knew in my heart Ron was right there, giving this information. So, I was open and eager to hear the messages he’d come to share.
The Messages
The instructor conveyed that Ron wanted me to know it was a good thing I was moving on, adding … “It’s about time.”
He was happy with what I was doing and fully supported it, referring to my foray into the spiritual world.
He added he wouldn’t have necessarily felt that way when he was alive … uh, understatement of the year … but he does now. (I guess it’s harder to reject the idea of the spirit world once you’re there!)
He went on to say this would mean big changes were coming for my life. Yup! He sure was right about that. As I pursued my passion for discovering the non-physical world, my 25-year business career melted into the background.
Then the instructor wrapped it up, since we were in the middle of class, but just that short interaction was a deeply meaningful experience for me. Because of the specific evidence he’d been able to bring through and describe, I had no doubt Ron was there and the messages were truly from him.
Wow, cool.
So, there you go. That’s what’s meant by evidential mediumship, and what a reading might look like. There will be variations, of course, but this description generally fits most evidential mediumship readings.
But … says who?
Just one last question … how do ya know this stuff? I mean, ya usually tell us who you get your info from.
Oh, a good question which I should have addressed earlier. This actually comes from a variety of sources, including lots of personal experience. You see, during the past 3 ½ years I’ve been working to develop my own mediumship skills.
During that time, I’ve been through training with extremely accomplished mediums, including Suzanne Giesemann, Andy Byng, Eileen Davies, and Darren Brittain. Though they each have their own unique style, they’ve been fairly consistent about the fundamentals.
And of course, through the training and practice over that time, I’ve participated in literally hundreds of readings, so by now, I’m very familiar with what a proper one looks like.
Huh! I had no idea …. Okay then, I’ll tell my friend what you said. I ‘spect he’ll feel better, you know, ‘bout the whole idea.
Good. And if he does decide to pursue it, let him know we’ll take a look at tips to help him find a medium and get the most out of the reading.
Let’s Share
How about you? Any experiences with mediumship that have stood out for you, or been different from what I’ve described? Tell us about it by posting in the Comments below.
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